Пример эссе TOEFL с комментариями (TOEFL Writing: Essay) — 3

Думаю, было бы полезно увидеть несколько примеров живых эссе. В конце я рискнула кратко прокомментировать каждое из них.

There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach an educated person.

Nowadays education is very popular among young people. Usually good education gives a chance to have a well paid job, big house, high-level insurance etc. Hence some people suppose, that only a educated person is able to teach an educated person. In my opinion, there are many uneducated people who can teach interesting things.
First, some jobs do not require education, but require communication skills, big experience and talent. For example, my driving instructor does not have a bachelor degree, but he tough me how to drive. He is a very friendly and patient man. Also, he drove cars more than 20 years. That skill helps him to teach people without good education.
The second example of a situation, where an education is not necessary, is any traditional activity. In France there are many traditional winery. Every winery has old wine recipes. The wine-maker knows recipes from his father, who was tough by his father etc. There is no educated people, who knows that recipes! So wine-maker without degree can teach some professor in food science how to make the best wine.
Finally, education could not replace intelligent, experience, wisdom. Young people may have problems in relationships and ask for help their parents, who has big experience in this area. Seniors may do not have degree or special education, but they can share wisdom.
In conclusion, I have shown that uneducated people may be very good teachers. Many areas does not require education for success. Experience, character and wisdom are very important as in modern life as in the past.

Приведены интересные, точные примеры. Точно выдержана структура эссе. Поэтому, несмотря на имеющиеся грамматические ошибки, работа заслуживает довольно высокой оценки.

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