Ещё один пример эссе от одного из моих учеников.
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults, as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some adults think they are too old and too smart to play games, so games are not important for them. In fact, everybody plays games.
Sportsmen spend a lot of time to practice, because they want to win games, so playing is very important for them. Every team and a single player has fans, who watch games and wish that there favorite shows an excellent game. Hence it is important for them too.
Moreover, adults usually play other games. Most of people play roles, for example, some man in the work can be angry and commanding boss, but among friends he perhaps is a plain fellow and his family know him as an irresponsible and lying person. We usually change our behavior due to people around us. It means that games are important for adults.
Furthermore, games are very useful. When child is very young, he or she is trying to know more about the world and the typical way to do it is a game. Games help children to contact with each over, to meet the real life rules. Children like to play, this process improve there communicative skills, make them smarter, stronger and hardy. It is impossible to overestimate the significance of games for growing person.
Actually, adults need playing too. Many people use games as a way to relax, do some sports, to be in good mood. Now videogames are popular among kids, teenagers and grown-ups. Videogames can increase the attentiveness, share some knowledge and helps to run away for real problems. Some adults like to spend there free time playing shooters or strategy videogames.
In conclusion, games are very important for everybody, even for people who think he or she does not need games.
Данное эссе правильно структурировано, доводы и примеры даны убедительные. Нет частых повторений одних и тех же слов. Но, имеется несколько грамматических ошибок. Правда, они не делают
текст непонятным, или трудным для восприятия. Следовательно баллы не будут существенно снижены.