Tag Archives: TOEFL

Думаю, было бы полезно увидеть несколько примеров живых эссе. В конце я рискнула кратко прокомментировать каждое из них.

There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach an educated person.

Nowadays education is very popular among young people. Usually good education gives a chance to have a well paid job, big house, high-level insurance etc. Hence some people suppose, that only a educated person is able to teach an educated person. In my opinion, there are many uneducated people who can teach interesting things.
First, some jobs do not require education, but require communication skills, big experience and talent. For example, my driving instructor does not have a bachelor degree, but he tough me how to drive. He is a very friendly and patient man. Also, he drove cars more than 20 years. That skill helps him to teach people without good education.
The second example of a situation, where an education is not necessary, is any traditional activity. In France there are many traditional winery. Every winery has old wine recipes. The wine-maker knows recipes from his father, who was tough by his father etc. There is no educated people, who knows that recipes! So wine-maker without degree can teach some professor in food science how to make the best wine.
Finally, education could not replace intelligent, experience, wisdom. Young people may have problems in relationships and ask for help their parents, who has big experience in this area. Seniors may do not have degree or special education, but they can share wisdom.
In conclusion, I have shown that uneducated people may be very good teachers. Many areas does not require education for success. Experience, character and wisdom are very important as in modern life as in the past.

Приведены интересные, точные примеры. Точно выдержана структура эссе. Поэтому, несмотря на имеющиеся грамматические ошибки, работа заслуживает довольно высокой оценки.

Good teachers set challenging tasks for their students. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I believe all teachers have to challenge their students by preparing corresponding tasks. Only challenge allows students to study well, to gain new knowledge and skills.

First, easy tasks causes boring in the class. Nobody wants to solve trivial problems every day. In this case, students decide that subject is not interesting for them. Even very good teacher is not able to teach people who are sleeping in the class. So, tasks have to be hard.

The second reason why I think tasks should be challenging is that challenge is a very good motivation. If students understand that they can do if they make efforts, they would make it! Everybody likes to play games, challenging task is just a good game for students. They like to play in it and to study this way. 

Finally, only challenge gives us a chance to grow, to increase our ability to solve different problems. Hard tasks gives a possibility to find out something new, to increase skills and to be proud of yourself. Good teachers should provide such problems to their students. 

In the conclusion, I have shown that tasks have to be challenging, it is the only way to study. Some teacher prefer to provide easy and boring problems not because it is better, but it is easy for teacher. So only bad and lazy teachers avoid challenging in the class.

Эссе соответствует всем требованиям экзамена TOEFL по структуре. Даны убедительные аргументы, подтверждающие точку зрения автора. На мой взгляд, вывод стилистически недостаточно выдержан, не хватает переходов. Я бы сделала так: «In the conclusion, I’d like to say, that from the above it’s absolutely clear, that tasks…».
Но в тексте довольно много грубых грамматических ошибок, Отсутствие артикля, окончания «s» в некоторых местах, т.д. В данном случае, эти ошибки будут учтены при выставлении баллов как системные, и балл будут снижен.

Думаю, было бы полезно увидеть несколько примеров живых эссе. В конце я рискнула кратко прокомментировать каждое из них.

 Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons for your position.  

In my opinion it is very important to have much money, because it gives many opportunities like good health, first-class education for children. Also, money can be used to save time. Despite somebody could say that making larger amount of money leads stress, I think that lack of money and, as a result, poor health, bad education and lack of time, leads more stress.

First, health is very important for everybody, so any responsible person tries to avoid smoking, drinking, but to do sports and to eat organic products. Also, health insurance is very useful. In fact, health promotion requires a lot of money. For example, organic product are twice expensive than non organic, fitness club with a personal instructor is not as cheap as trainings behind TV. Moreover, in the United States medical insurance is very expensive. So health requires money.

Second reason I think large amount of money is important is that money can save time. A person who earns money just for comfortable living can not afford a gardener to take care of garden, can not afford a cleaner to clear house. Also, this person need to plan his or her trip very accurate, because he or she can not afford flight with flexible dates. Hence money gives an opportunity not to spend time on boring things like cleaning and creating  accurate trip plans.

Finally, nowadays high-level education is not cheap. Everybody wants his or her kid graduates from a prestige university, because it is the first step to success career in the future. So it is important to have much many to pay tuition.

In conclusion, I have shown that making large amounts of many is very important, because it gives opportunities to have good health, to save time and to afford high-level education for children.

Данное эссе четко и правильно структурировано, в соответствии с требованиями экзамена. Даны точные и понятные подтверждения своей позиции, приведены примеры. За структуру и логику оценка должна быть высокой. Есть грамматические ошибки.  Например:» For example, organic product are twice expensive than non organic…», правильно фраза должна звучать так: «…,organic products are twice as expensive as non organic…». Есть неправильно использованные слова. Например: «Despite somebody could say that making…». Но все эти недочеты и ошибки не искажают, и не меняют общего смысла написанного. А для проверяющих это главное. Следовательно, общий балл за такое эссе может быть довольно высоким.